Holiday humour

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Spotted in 'Arrowhead' (Shrewton and Orcheston)

"We found it was not like the sand in the brochure - your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

"On my holiday to Goa in India I was disgusted to find that almost all the local restaurants sold curry - I do not like spicy foods."

"We booked an excursion to a local water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

"The beach was too sandy."

A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too think and strong. He was inadvertently slurping his gravy at the time.

"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

"We bought designer sunglasses for five Euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

"It took us nine hours to fly home to England from Jamaica, but it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation.' We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying there?"

"I was bitten by a mosquito. No-one said they could bite."

"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I am now pregnant. This would not have happened if you had supplied the twin bed room booked."

"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."